I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
