I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
50% drunk capacity currently
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
