Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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