Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
