Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
