i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
