Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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