That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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