Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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