i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
