Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
