we're blogging at a bar
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and she was petting her beer can
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
