I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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