Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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