can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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