Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
