y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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