i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He better not be in your backpack
Boobs are out for the taking
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
