Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
