Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
