I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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