Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
