I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
