Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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