i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
