you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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