i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
