No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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