this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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