shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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