Tell her she can't have a vagina
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
