Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
