when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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