didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
