I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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