Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
