I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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