I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
