to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
