I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
