I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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