well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
