Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
