I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize