hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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