You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Oh god it's open bar.
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