Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
