hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm determined to sit on that face.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
