never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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