; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
