glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
