And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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