break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize