what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
