It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
two words: eviction party
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
