do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Do you have feelings for this penis?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
