drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
