She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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