Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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