Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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