FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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