You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
