Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
