Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I need to wash the frat house off of me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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