Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
