Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
