And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
