think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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