I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
