mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
